Parental Logic: When A Child Is Growing Up

Your children are growing up

when they stop asking

where they came from...

and refuse to tell you

where they are going.

Parental Logic: Raising A Teenager

It is not easy raising a teenager...

Especially in the morning.

Parental Logic: Getting A Child To Listen

If you want your children to listen...

try talking softly...

to someone else.

Parental Logic: Getting Child's Attention

The quickest way

for a parent

to get a child's attention...

is to sit down and

look comfortable.

Parental Logic: Parenthood Theories

I used to have a number of theories

on raising children.

Now I have a number

of children and

no theories.

Parental Logic: Blessed

Blessed

is the parent who

expects no gratitude.

For he shall not be disappointed.

Parental Logic: Keeping Kids In Touch

Money is not everything.

But it sure

helps to keep

the kids in touch.

Parental Logic: Grown Up Kids

It is not easy getting your

grown-up kids to leave home.

Parental Logic: Mother Watch

No matter how old a mother is...

she continues to watch her middle-aged children

for signs of improvement.

Parental Logic: Great Comfort

Children are a great comfort

in your old age

and they help you

get there faster.

Parental Logic: Few Satisfying Things

There are few things more satisfying

than seeing your children

have teenagers of their own.

You are only young once.

That is all society can stand.

Parental Logic: Advanced Parenthood

Signs of Advanced Parenthood:

-You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake

to make sure they are equal.


-You hide in the bathroom just to

get some alone-time.


-You start offering to cut up

other people's food.

Parental Logic: Gratification

According to the child,

instant gratification

takes too long.

Parental Logic: Children's Property Laws

Children's Property Laws:

1. If I like it, it is mine.

2. If I can take it from you, it is mine.

3. If I had it a little while ago, it is mine.

4. If it is mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.

5. If it looks like mine, it is mine.

6. If it is yours and I steal it, it is mine.

7. If I think it is mine, it is mine.

8. If it is broken, it is yours.

Parental Logic: OW

"OW!"

The first word spoken by

children with older siblings.

Parental Logic: Little Adorable

When you are little,

adorable will get you

through anything.

Parental Logic: Ways To Get Things Done

There are 3 ways to

get things done:

- do it yourself,

- hire someone to do it,

- or forbid your kids to do it.

Parental Logic: Who Rule In The Family?

Whoever said "just say no!"

does not have kids.

Why can not you all just obey me!
(shout the child in the family)

Because I am your parent, THAT'S why!
(shout back the mother or the father)

Say NO.

Then negotiate.

Parental Logic: Security

Your children look to you for security--

so hide when you bite your nails.

Parental Logic: Family Planning

Family Planning:

The art of spacing your

children the proper distance apart

to keep you on the edge of

financial disaster.